She Waits. She Watches. She Wistfully Wonders.

I recently tracked down about 70 photos from our daughters' orphanage.  There are rosy cheeked children at play, at an amusement park, at the lake, at a performance all sparkles, glitter and lipstick.  There is obvious delight and joy on their faces.  They are an active part of the world around them.

Dishearteningly my daughters are not among them.  It is understandable.  They don't walk.  They are difficult to take out and about. They are at risk of injury.   But then, I saw our Jaeya....our Jaybird in the far background of one photo.  You must look closely but my gentle hearted daughter who is trapped in a fragile and easily broken body is there.  SHE IS THERE.  I see you Jaeya.  I SEE YOU MY SWEET DELICATE BIRD.

She sits on the tattered tiny chair which has taken the place of her legs and been her support and her access to the outside world.   She who has been nurtured in the baby room for 11 years.  She who hobbles on her awkward and bowed legs to help the aunties feed the opened and waiting mouths of the hungry babies  with cerebral palsy who cannot move their snacks from hands to mouth.  She who is not allowed to attend formal school due to her physical limitations.  She who has missed the playful and delightful rights of childhood.  She who is said to have learned to remain quite positive in spite of the difficulties that she faces.  She who still finds how to sing with the tiny, sweet voice of a sparrow.

She sits at the edge of the orphanage cement walkway watching.   Wondering.  Wishing. Yearning for her chance to move from the edge and join the world.  Year after year after year after year.  She has waited.

This is why, no matter the obstacles that continue to present themselves during this adoption we will not give up.  We will not leave her sitting in that well worn chair.  We will come.  We will come.   

We will cradle her as gently as we can and introduce her to life outside of the walls that hold her now.  And we will do the same to her little friend who will forever become her sister.  When people ask why on earth we are doing this again, this is why.  No one else has come.  We will come.  We will come.