Going from unknowns to knowns then more unknowns

The girls are spending their first day at school!  What a significant day in their lives.  Jaeya has had such fear of the big unknown entity called SCHOOL.  Her whole life she was told she couldn't go to school because she would break her bones.  She begged me not to make her ever go to school because she would break.  The fear of this unknown was beginning to consume her.  I knew we needed to conquer it before it ate her up.

So, I told Miss Jaeya that she was going with me to take Meisyn to school yesterday to give them the enrollment papers and visit Meisyn's teacher.  Jaeya made sure I knew she was NOT going to school herself or would end up broken in half.  (This gesture of breaking in half was very clear!)  I wish I had a video of her and Meisyn as they entered the school.  Their eyes about bulged out of their heads.  This place looked FUN not scary.  Jaeya would look around and repeat in an unbelieving voice, "School?"  I would nod my head and ensure her that indeed this was school.

As you can likely guess, we did end up visiting both Meisyn and Jaeya's classes and the girls did not want to leave.  We had to leave for the doctor during the middle of Jaeya's music class where they were listening to Stravinsky and making a huge firebird.

Today the girls were up at 6 am and counting each minute until they got to go.  Jaeya only teared up and mentioned China ONE time last night.  HUGE PROGRESS.  Meisyn is in the kindergarten so doesn't go until noon.  Big bummer.  But I took Jaeya as Lan and Caden escorted her to her classroom filled with classmates that treat her like a diva.  Uh, no better way to delight Jaeya.  They may regret that at some point, LOL!  With a big smile on her face she motioned me to leave so I did.  My kids are in a Montessori school so Lan, Caden and Jaeya are in the same class.  That really helped.

At noon I took Meisyn to her class where she was enthralled by the teacher who sat with her and helped her with letters and sounds.  She was in heaven.  I then peeked in on Jaeya and when she saw me she broke into a great grin....and then sudden anxiety.  She quickly said, "No school all done!"  I assured her that school was not done.  I was just visiting after dropping off Meisyn.

My dear friends.  This adoption stuff is hard.  It is so exhausting financially, emotionally, and particularly in my case physically as I have to carry my girls everywhere.  I am so grateful for children who can just get to and sit on the toilet themselves.  That is a blessing we don't have with Jaeya and Meisyn.  Seeing my daughters as they embarked upon their first day at a real school made every single annoyance and hardship appreciated. Giving them the chance to go to school like other children is priceless. Just this one day has made everything worth the work and the worry.

I need to share about our visit to the doctor.  Dr. Bunker has been with us through some scary things with the kids and with my near death experience.  He is able to be frank and open with me about things that aren't pleasant to think about.

I put Meisyn on the exam table and showed him her floppy body and the big scoliosis and kyphosis of her back.  At adoption we knew she didn't walk and that she had been diagnosed with bilateral hip dysplasia and rickets.  There is so much more than this I fear.  I told him I prayed he would tell me he thinks Meisyn has had polio.  I don't want it to be the alternative that I am suspecting it may be.  He just gave me a sympathetic look and replied that he was too young to know much about polio although it may be.  The doctor has never seen such a floppy child such as her in his 20 year practice.  Her legs can be contorted to put her feet behind her neck.  Dr. Bunker requested an emergency referral to the neurology department at Primary Children's Medical Center.  These are Ammie's docs.   It is very possible that our dear, amazing, gentle, smart Meisyn has some form of muscular dystrophy as she has severe neuro-muscular dysplasias.  All forms of MD are inevitably terminal.  We know that Ammie may leave us too soon but his will be a sudden leaving.  A seizure will come that sends him into cardiac arrest.  With MD we would have to watch Meisyn waste away until she could no longer breath on her own.

I am waiting for the neurology department to call with an appointment time.  I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and worry until we know for sure but I know my doctor well and could tell he was worried.  However,  I can say with complete confidence and assurance that our Meisyn is a blessing and we are privileged to have her in our forever family.  No matter what happens and how long she has to be on this earth she will LIVE a full life.  Should she leave us far too soon everything we have done to bring her into our family will be worth it. We are completely smitten with our Meisyn.